McCain's new campaign motto

Extra! McCain Picks Palin For Veep!

Ooops! Sorry! Wrong pic . . .



There. That's better. Perfectly natural mistake, I guess.

The other side is the Official Dem Joke Book

Published in 1976, and irrefutably proving that Republicans haven't changed a bit since then:

A Democrat and a Republican were discussing their strategy.

"I'm forever promoting," said the Democrat. "For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a large tip and say 'Vote Democratic.'"

"My approach is very similar," said the Republican. "Whenever I take a taxi, I don't give the driver any tip at all. And when I leave I say, 'Don't forget to vote Democratic.'"

Come to think of it, I guess the Democrats haven't really changed that much since '76 either - still being played for chumps, albeit willingly these days. Still, the above really says something about the way Republicans play the game: "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat."

Anyway, that always makes it nice to see them taken down a peg or two, as in this uproarious tidbit from history:

[George Schultz] was a Cabinet member for years — serving as Nixon's Secretary of Treasury and Secretary of Labor, and Reagan's Secretary of State — but that didn't stop George Shultz from committing a major hotel faux pas late in his career. When he visited Paris's Hôtel de Crillon in his capacity as Secretary of State, he and his staff allegedly robbed the hotel of a significant portion of its luxurious monogrammed towels. The theft only came to light when, after Shultz's visit, then–Vice President George H.W Bush and his staff visited the hotel. As reported in Forbes years later by Christopher Buckley, who was traveling with the VP on that trip, Bush's staffers noticed their rooms conspicuously devoid of bath linens, and were met with icy resistance when they called down to get some. Ultimately, the hotel staff begrudgingly handed over a few towels, but only after some members of the entourage were forced to dry off with toilet paper.

The story's mostly about rock stars trashing hotels and becoming persona non grata in the process, but I thought the Schultz bit was hilarious. The SECRETARY OF STATE stealing towels from a hotel. Fuckers must have packed up a couple of suitcases full from the sound of it. Sheesh.

Well we give them the election

Farmer Joke

A man owned a small farm in Alabama.

The Department of Consumer & Employment Protection heard that he was not paying proper wages to his employees and sent an agent down to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $400 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $450 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied the farmer.

Heh.

Wonder what they're gonna do with all those posters?

Rumor has it . . .

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My sources from ~20 years in the graphic arts/printing industry tell me a local print shop is printing up a large batch of Obama/Bayh posters.

Local boy makes good

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As Roy Edroso recently observed, ". . . many of the great geniuses of the Internet labor in obscurity." Surely their number includes this guy, who appears to be the first Kansas Citian to make the Best of Craigslist.

Excerpt:

Have you ever thought about what will happen to your pets after Jesus comes back to claim the souls of the saved during the Rapture and deliver them to heaven to enjoy ever lasting life? The bible clearly teaches that only those that have accepted Jesus as their savior will enter heaven (John 14:6, Romans 3:23), and we all know that pets do not have the cognitive ability to do this, so what will happen to your beloved pets? Surely without you there, they would be stuck inside your empty house, starving to death with no one to feed them, let them out to potty, or clean their litter box. This is probably not what you envision for your pets after you are gone. This is where I come in.

I am here to offer you pet care service for after the rapture. As an atheist, I will surely still be here on this earth post rapture and would love to look after your pets for a small fee and make sure they are still well taken care of after you and your family have been raptured.

As they say, go read the whole thing. It's a hoot. Wonder if the guy's made any money yet?