A blog dedicated to the researchers who dyed a captured chimp's fur pink, then released it. The other chimps promptly tore it to pieces.

Monday, May 30, 2005

President Bush is doing the best he can

to ensure a steady supply of dead soldiers for us to remember on future Memorial Days.

Saturday, May 28, 2005


You know about lemmings, right? Those little rodents that commit mass suicide by hurling themselves off cliffs? Everybody knows that.

There's just one problem. It's not true. It's an urban legend, created by some people who were filming an award-winning Disney nature "documentary" back in the fifties. Lemmings are quite real, but their suicidal behavior is not.

So here we have an interesting phenomenon: something everybody knows that's complete and utter bullshit. If that doesn't make you wonder what else you believe that's not grounded in reality, you're not paying attention.

Why They Hate Us, Part 3,453,657

Tom Friedman sez "Shut Down Gitmo!"

Not because it's both morally reprehensible and the height of hypocrisy to claim to stand for freedom and justice while operating torture chambers and concentration camps, but because doing such things makes us look bad.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


I'm usually not big on this sort of thing, but I've always been a sucker for books.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

The OED.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Fantasies, yes - crushes, no. Not since that slut Jane refused my affections and ran off with Dick, anyway.

The last book you bought is:

On Bullshit by Harry G. Frankfurt

The last book you read:

Active Directory Cookbook for Windows Server 2003 and Windows 2000 by Robbie Allen

What are you currently reading?

My computer screen. No, I'm not being cute or facetious - I read more online than anywhere else these days.

Five books you would take to a deserted island:

US Army Survival Manual by the Department of the Army Headquarters Staff
Handbook of First Aid and Emergency Care by Bernard J. Feldman et al
Hawaiian Canoe Building Traditions by Naomi N. Y. Chun et al
Celestial Navigation in a Nutshell by Hewitt Schlereth
The Story of Civilization by Will Durant (yes, I know that's cheating)

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Nobody. Anybody who reads has probably already seen it. I'm sure the three people who read this blog (counting me) have already seen it. Isn't there enough junk e-mail on the 'net as it is?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

How PBS can fight those "liberal bias" claims

7:00-8:00AM The Sean Hannity Newshour

8:00-11:30AM Ronald Reagan Film Festival

11:30AM-1:00PM Sesame Wallstreet - educational stock reports for toddlers

1:00-3:00PM Legal affairs programming. Today: "Get A Rope!" with Nancy Grace

3:00-4:00PM The Electric Company. Today: surcharges are your friends

4:00-6:00PM Ahmed Chalabi presents "Iraq on Ice" spectacular

6:00-7:00PM The Savage Weiner Newshour

7:00-9:00PM Masturbate Theater. Tonight: George W Bush and Jeff Gannon in "Of Human Bondage"

9:00-11:30PM Sermonette with Jerry Falwell

11:30PM Signoff

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Nice people don't become prison guards.

LA Times - Inaction in New York Prison Abuse Stirs Anger

It was the first prison abuse scandal of the post-Sept. 11 era, when scores of immigrants were rounded up and jailed in New York after the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon.

They were never charged with terrorism — but they endured abusive treatment that Justice Department investigators concluded was outrageous and cruel. It included being slammed into walls and subjected to unnecessary body cavity searches, some of it captured on videotape.

[. . .]

He also says he was physically abused. Guards slammed him face-first against prison walls, leaving him with a bruised and bloodied nose for weeks, he said. Guards often stomped on his leg chains with their boots, causing excruciating pain, he said.

"Here in Egypt, I would say 'Yes, this could happen to anybody.' In America, it was shocking and disappointing," Ebrahim said by phone from Egypt. "We learned everything about democracy and human rights from the United States."

[. . .]

Attention soon focused on the Brooklyn facility, where authorities held 84 detainees considered to be "of high interest." A report by Justice Department Inspector General Glenn A. Fine in June 2003 identified problems at the facility and criticized immigration and prison authorities, saying they held suspects too long and inappropriately denied them access to family members and lawyers.

Fine's investigators also found evidence of physical and verbal abuse, but were initially unable to corroborate the allegations. At the time, the guards denied they did anything wrong, and prison officials claimed that key evidence — videotapes from a prison recording system from the months after Sept. 11 — had been destroyed.

Many of the tapes later surfaced in a prison storage room — whether they were lost or intentionally hidden remains unclear — and in stark detail they revealed guards slamming inmates against walls, among other acts.

Armed with the tapes, Fine issued a follow-up report detailing myriad problems and evidence that officers "slammed detainees against the wall, twisted their arms and hands in painful ways, stepped on their leg restraint chains, and punished them by keeping them restrained for long periods of time."

The report also identified a bizarre jailhouse ritual in which guards would "escort detainees down a hall at a brisk pace and ram them into a wall without slowing down before impact." Some were apparently slammed against a wall where a T-shirt hung with a picture of the American flag. The shirt bore the slogan "These Colors Don't Run" — and bloodstains.

May 21, 2005

So how many times are you going to believe these lying assholes when they launch into yet another song and dance routine proclaiming their innocence? How many times do you need to have your nose rubbed in the fact that these are not nice people before it finally sinks in?

Or do you not mind having this sort of thing done in your name?

I didn't know they had a "Truth in Labeling" law for newspapers.

From Friday's Kansas City Star opinion section:

I mean, I already knew Michelle's stuff was biased, but it's nice of them to label it so the less-than-bright among us won't be taken in so easily.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . .

. . . Republicans used to be both liberals and the good guys. Honest.

On May 22, 1856, the "world's greatest deliberative body" became a combat zone. In one of the most dramatic and deeply ominous moments in the Senate's entire istory, a member of the House of Representatives entered the Senate chamber and savagely beat a senator into unconsciousness.

The inspiration for this clash came three days earlier when Senator Charles Sumner, a Massachusetts antislavery Republican, addressed the Senate on the explosive issue of whether Kansas should be admitted to the Union as a slave state or a free state.

[ . . .]

Shortly after the Senate had adjourned for the day, Brooks entered the old chamber, where he found Sumner busily attaching his postal frank to copies of his "Crime Against Kansas" speech.

Moving quickly, Brooks slammed his metal-topped cane onto the unsuspecting Sumner's head. As Brooks struck again and again, Sumner rose and lurched blindly about the chamber, futilely attempting to protect himself.

After a very long minute, it ended.

Source: United
States Senate

The astute observer will note that in classic conservative fashion, Brooks snuck up behind Sumner and whacked him over the head with a weapon rather than facing him man-to-man. Some things never change.

Drink a toast Sunday to the memory of Charles Sumner, one of the first Americans to stand up for what he believed against chickenshit conservatives and get Pearl Harbored for his troubles.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

"I don't have one!"

One of the most irritating factors in providing computer support is the amazing number of people who become blind as soon as the support tech answers their call.

"Okay, click the Start Button."


"Click the Start Button."

"Uh . . . where?"

"In the lower left of your screen - the Start Button."

"Uh . . . I don't have one."

Well, the problem is obvious. You're using a fucking Macintosh. We don't support Macintoshes - call me back when you get a PC.

I don't expect them to be experts, or even to know much of anything. (it's usually easier dealing with someone who doesn't know anything than someone who knows just enough to be dangerous) What I DO expect is for them to be able to see what's right fucking in front of them, particularly when I CAN'T see it and am dependent on them to be my "eyes" in diagnosing the issue.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

The Daily Honger

In a development reminiscent of the recent Sadly, No! redirect, it appears The Daily Howler has been redirected to BaltimoreChronicle.Com.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The illiterate patriot

The Angry Patriot [Salon]

Standing near the border, whipped by the desert wind, Simcox tells me, "This is the Boston tea party! We are reestablishing the can-do attitude! We're tough and tenacious but humane and civilized. We are the American spirit. We say no, we mean no. The word is 'temerity' -- rock-solid character! We are challenging two governments. This is about will."

Temerity: [Dictionary.Com] Unreasonable or foolhardy contempt of danger; rashness.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Inigo Montoya [Mandy Patinkin] The Princess Bride

Need a Gmail account?

I have a few invitations - e-mail me and I'll send you one.

pinkchimp at gmail dot com

Sunday, May 08, 2005

John Calvert - a dumbfuck for all seasons

‘Objective approach' urged

. . . Calvert said he simply wants all sides of the debate to be taught in the classroom. Teaching only intelligent design “is as bad as teaching only evolution,” he said. “We're looking for an objective approach that looks at both sides.”

Well, that would be the problem right there.

You see, it's not a case of "sides." It's a case of "reality" and "fantasy" - period. It's not about a difference of opinion - it's about whether or not one chooses to recognize life as it is.

You can either be on the "side" of reality, or you can be on the "side" of ignorance and superstition. Those are your choices. Pick one.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Seen on a Yahoo message board

Q: What has seven bibles and eighteen teeth?

A: The Kansas State Board of Education

Can't understand why these aren't selling.