A blog dedicated to the researchers who dyed a captured chimp's fur pink, then released it. The other chimps promptly tore it to pieces.

Monday, September 05, 2005

The Gomer and Cletus Factor

Kansas City, where I live, just went through a summer with both of the freeway approaches to downtown from across the river to the north blocked at the same time. That's right: both of them were scheduled for elective surgery - needed, but non-critical - at the same fucking time. The map below shows the downtown KC area (circled in red and labeled "Kansas City") with smaller red cirles showing the two closed bridges.

A fairly substantial percentage of KC's workers live in Clay (to the East) or Platte (to the West) Counties up north of the river. Having both freeway bridges closed threw these commuters onto city streets with speed limits as low as 25 MPH and stoplights/stopsigns at most corners. It literally added an hour or more to many commutes. (fortunately, although my commute takes me across the river, I'm going the other direction - it did give me a good look at the poor suffering bastards in their endless lines every morning, though)

This monumental fuckup is slightly mitigated by the fact that one project was straw-bossed by the State of Missouri and the other by the State of Kansas. But the two states certainly communicate with each other well enough to make sure they get things like sales tax for out of state vehicle buyers properly credited back. Why not for these much more important projects?

My wife and I have decided that this is what happens when you let Gomer and Cletus run things. Put a bunch of goddamn inbred sister-fucking hillbillies in charge of making the decisions, and can you really be surprised when you wind up with a clusterfuck? Whenever we see bureaucratic waste and government idiocy, we nod to each other and think "Gomer and Cletus!"

Anyway, it appears the entire country is now experiencing the Gomer and Cletus Factor on an epic scale. Hopefully we'll survive.

P.S. Think I'm being too hard on Gomer and Cletus? On the weekend of July 23, they scheduled road repair on Highway 169 leading to the Broadway Bridge across the Missouri. (you can see it at the bottom of the words "Burlington Northern" on the map) Highway 169 was the alternate route that gave the least exposure to city streets. So at a time when the alternate route is needed the most because both freeways are shut down, Gomer and Cletus close the alternate route for road work.

Not just morons, fucking morons.


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