Why there are so few conservative college professors

The problem is not, as most conservatives would have you believe, that college administrations are biased towards liberals. The problem is not that there are no conservatives qualified to teach.

No, the problem is actually rather simple: no students. I don't mean there are no students in college - I mean that there are no students willing to pay some greedy, selfish fuckhead to teach them how to be greedy, selfish fuckheads. Most people who want to be greedy, selfish fuckheads seem to able to figure it out for themselves - a college degree is not necessary.